Mission Flashback

"Each one of us has been given the power to change his or her life, and in some ways all of us need to change. That is, some of us need to be more kind at home, less selfish, better listeners, and more considerate in the way we treat others. Some of us have habits that need to be changed, habits that harm us and others around us." ~President Faust

I mentioned a couple days ago that I've been reading from my mission journal lately, and I read something tonight that reminded me of what happened on Tuesday night. It was probably halfway through my mission when all the chaos happened and it totally changed who I was. I was a harder worker, a more forgiving person, and a very loving missionary. I don't know what happened to all those traits or where they went but I'm a changed person after tonight!!! I PROMISE!! =) Anyways, I was serving in Newport Beach and assigned with a Tongan companion who struggled with getting up in the morning and getting any work done during the day. Something felt different being with her then any other companion I had but it took a couple weeks to figure out what was so different. Turns out she was sneaking out every night while I was sleeping and was involved in immoral activities. I'll spare you the details of how I found out or how I caught her and what a horrible, awful mess it all was, but I only served with her for 3 weeks before she was shipped home. President Harmsen pulled Sister Chu, who was in a companionship of 3 Sisters, and had her be my companion for 2 weeks. Then transfers came and President assigned me with Sister Hall. So I had 3 different companions in less than 2 months and I can't even began to explain how rude people were to me! No one had ANY idea of what happened, not ward members or other missionaries, so everyone assumed that I was the horrible companion that no one got along with and that I kept chasing off all my companions. There was some rumor that went around with the other missionaries that I had told Pres. my companion kept calling home, so she got sent home early. Man- they were WAY off!!! And the ward members stopped inviting us over for dinner, or appointments, or pretty much anything. Literally, we went from having dinner every night with a family to going without dinner appointments for a month and a half. People would actually come up to me and say, "I guess you're the companion everyone hated on their mission. I remember the ones I hated", and "Wow, you definitely need to learn how to be a better person or else no one will ever want to be with you" and the best one (that the Ward Mission Leader said) "We're praying for your companion and hope she's going to make it. I bet she's already counting down until the next transfer." So you pretty much get the gist that everyone judged the situation as something SOO completely different and all I could do was smile and work harder than I ever had. Actually, I stopped eating, I couldn't sleep, and I cried every night because I was so scared of what had happened and I felt like I didn't have control of anything. But I worked from sun-up to sun-down because that way I didn't have to think about what was happening or how people were treating me. By working so hard, I finally had an unshakable testimony that I was there to do the Lord's work and nothing else mattered. I served, without any success, for another 6 weeks and was finally transferred out of the area. No one ever knew the real story and none of those ward members ever opened their home to me because of their perception of the story, but I grew to be the strongest person because I knew I was working for the Lord and not for the world around me.

So I was reading about all the horror from those months of my mission and it dawned on me that the same situation had happened on Tuesday night. I work at Wells Fargo and there's this man who always comes and is SOO incredibly rude. Seriously, he makes you feel like the dumbest and smallest person alive. He never smiles and one time he made this huge scene in the lobby because he had waited for so long and was going to take his money to another bank and bla, bla, bla. On Tuesday night I went to the Jordan River Temple with another coworker, and guess who was the temple worker of our session??!! The mean man!!!! He was very surprised to see us there, but I'm pretty sure I was way more surprised to see Grumpy the Bear in a perfect bright white suit, talking in a holy voice! Oh my! This is like when I saw the teacher I hate, in her white temple dress.... maybe I should switch temples!! =) The coworker I was with recognized him too because she was the one who calmed him down when he freaked out in the lobby. And do you know what I found out? He was trying to get control over his business, didn't really know how things worked, and wanted to make sure he was doing everything the right way, which happened to make him a very uptight business man. And ya know what? Because I understand what situation he's in, he's a totally different person to me now and I treated him differently when he came in today. How amazing it is to understand what someone is going through or what their situation is- it changes how we act and what we say. What a flashback it was to my Newport Beach dilemma- if only people understood my situation, I would have had a totally different experience in that ward.

I'm still thinking of what reminder I can have everyday to not judge- kinda like a CTR ring, or the YW value necklaces. I need a "Love and don't judge" ring! I obviously struggle with remaining a changed person because I always fall back into being judgmental and inconsiderate, but this time it's different! My goal this week is praying to have a continously loving heart, so even when I have no idea what situation people are in, I can be more considerate and loving. That means people can call me and tell me anything they want, and I won't judge them or jump to a conclusion!!! =) HAHA- wait a few more weeks and I'll be better at my new goal!