Being proved wrong- again and again and again!!

"For with what judgement ye judge, ye shall be judged
and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again."
Matthew 7:2 and 3 Nephi 14:2

So I have to confess another major fault that I have- it has nothing to do with speeding this time, though I still struggle with that one! This problem is that I judge people and when I don't like someone, I don't try at all to resolve the difference between us. That's why I am called to repentance almost daily and why things keep happening to remind me that I'm not doing what I'm supposed to do!! OK- so there's this teacher that I work with at the elementary school who is very strict and always sounds like she's commanding people. That would be a great attribute for a teacher, but for heaven's sake- we teach Special Ed kids!! They don't need to be commanded or reprimanded for not following all her rules, as precisely and exactly the way she wants them to. For all who know me, rules are NOT my thing and I fly my own way, at my own speed (I'm not proud of that, by the way!). Anyways, I never cared that she didn't like me because I felt justified in hating her. But that's when I was chastened- and at the temple of all places. I was going to do Sealings and had my own family names, so I was way excited to do the work. So I'm riding the escalator and reading my family names, when all of a sudden she's standing right in front of me! And there was the teacher, who I despised and looked down on her teaching methods, standing in a beautiful bright white gown, and just glowing. She was a worker there (of all surprises!!) and was such a COMPLETELY different person as I stood there and talked to her. I think I prayed for forgiveness that whole night (when I was supposed to be concentrating on other people's Sealings) and I felt awful for thinking so poorly of her. I know now what a good, honest person she is and that she never intentionally means to ruin other people's lives!! Haha- just kidding. I just feel awful for having such a hate for her.

Ok- so after I was proved totally wrong in that situation, I promised myself to envision everyone in their white gowns, faces glowing, and full of the Spirit. That way I can always look for the good in people. Yeah- it didn't last long. So there are two people at work that I totally struggle getting along with. We don't fight or argue or anything, I just have never felt comfortable in their presence. Last week, my work schedule seemed to have me working with these people, I swear, like everyday. I had been praying extra hard, gone to the temple for help, tried to erase any thoughts from my head to get the hatred out- nothing was working. But that's when it turned out like my teacher story. One of the people I struggled with came up to me at work (we had not actually spoken more than 2 words in the last month), and he asked if he could talk to me. I was too shocked (and scared) to actually speak, but I followed him to the breakroom, where he bought me a Diet Coke (the peacemaker of all peacemakers), apologized for everything that had happened, and asked if we could start all over again. OH MY!!! What on earth was happening? I still don't remember anything I said back to him, or if I even talked at all, but now we are great friends and we laugh everyday together!!! Oh my- it's still too weird to figure out how it happened!

So you'd think my judging stories were over- but they're not. There is a certain individual (who will remain nameless) that totally gets on my nerves, says the dumbest things, and always reminds me that I'm single by saying that I'm not doing the Lord's work because I'm not married and having kids. AAAAHHHH. Anyways, I ended up at this certain individual's wedding reception and of course was chastened once again. The reception was beautiful, the outfits were gorgeous, their temple story was amazing, and they were both so happy and so perfect for each other that you knew that they were doing the right thing. The Spirit, once again, reminded me that people have so much good in them and that I should forget all the rude and dumb things that they do and say to me!! HAHAHA- just kidding!! Everyone has such different special qualities that I've always been too judgmental to notice and I tend to use myself and my experiences as a frame of reference for judging the behavior of others. I'm now trying to have a different perspective on everyone because of all the witnesses I've had, proving to me that we truly are God's children and can rise up to be like Him. And ALL of us can- not just the ones I like!! =)

As a nineteenth century clergyman noted,
“Only God can form and paint a flower,
but any foolish child can pull it to pieces.”